Start Spreading the News: Announcing Your Engagement
Did you just get engaged over the holidays? Well, after coming down from cloud nine, you may feel compelled to race to the rooftops and tell the whole world. There’s nothing wrong with that; this is a joyous occasion, and it deserves great celebration. But it’s important to be sure your announcement is well timed and told in the correct order of importance to the special people in your lives.
Thus, I have two very important bits of advice to spreading the good news about your engagement without offending those who are near and dear to your heart: Tell it yourself, and tell it first. With those two rules in mind, the following is my advice about the proper steps to take in announcing your upcoming nuptials.
Children
Tell your children (if any) first. Tell them alone, without the other person present, so they can have a natural reaction to digesting the information and be comfortable with asking questions.
Parents
You should both be present for your announcement. Traditionally, the bride’s parents are told first, followed by the groom’s parents. It’s perfectly fine to telephone either party if an in-person meeting is not possible.
Grandparents, Siblings and Other Close Relatives
Focus on sharing your announcement, and that’s all. Refrain from making any promises of wedding party participation. If asked, just say, “We haven’t even begun to work out the details just yet, and right now we’re just overjoyed to share the good news with you.”
Close Friends
They should not be the first to know before any of the aforementioned individuals. As well meaning as they may be, this is the group over whom you would generally have the least control in the word getting out.
Announcing Your Engagement to the Rest of the World
E-Mail
This is fine if this is how you generally correspond with those outside of the groups mentioned above. Coworkers can be included in this group. Do NOT use this method to tell your immediate family and close friends.
Social Networking Sites
It is here where your private information is no longer private. Even if your page is “private,” the mere fact that you have posted it on the World Wide Web means news of your engagement is now very, very public.
Newspapers
Check with the newspaper for deadlines, fees and guidelines. Place the announcement in the town where the bride and groom reside. You can also place an announcement in the hometown of the bride and the hometown of the groom, if different.
By Mail
This is not absolutely necessary and is not the same as a save-the-date card. If you do make the announcement by mail, keep the information simple. You can state “wedding date to follow” somewhere in your announcement.
Engagement Party
Traditionally this is hosted by the family of the bride, but today anyone can be the host. It should be an intimate affair, not a large event. Do not invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding. Don’t make your big announcement at someone else’s party. It will take the focus off them.
How to Keep Your Engagement Secret
Tell no one. Everyone has at least one person they will tell and swear to secrecy. My advice: Don’t plant the seed until you are ready for it to grow.
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