A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe

Demystifying Wedding Traditions

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE a fiddler on the roof to admire tradition. While modern-day wedding traditions often tread into new and even strange territory, it is the tried and true, borrowed and blue that are often the most perplexing. Flying rice, garters and bouquets, and the prominence of the one shade that does little for a girlish figure. From where do these traditions hail, and why do we follow them?

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE
Grandma’s pearl necklace, a new shade of lipstick, Mom’s hairpin and a garter laced with blue satin. Each token represents an element of married life to look forward to. Something old symbolizes continuity. Something new offers optimism for the future. Something borrowed represents good fortune and serves as a reminder that the bride can depend on her friends and family. And something blue stands for purity, love and fidelity. Now isn’t that something?

THROWING RICE
Nothing says “I do” like the celebratory tossing of rice. Symbolic of fertility and prosperity, rice is thrown by guests as an offering of these good tidings. In some cultures, rice was once thought to ward off evil spirits because, clearly, well-nourished evil spirits pose no harm. Unfortunately, that theory didn’t fare well for Juliette Low, founder of The Girl Scouts of America, who became deaf in one ear after a piece of rice became lodged there at her own wedding.

THE BRIDE’S ATTIRE
No part of a wedding is steeped in as much lore as the bride’s attire.

The Veil—The veil’s purpose has evolved over eras and across cultures. In the case of arranged marriages, the veil was worn to hide the bride’s face so that the groom could not change his mind about the marriage. In other instances, the veil served as a barrier to the bride’s face so that her husband would not be killed for her beauty. In arid regions, the veil served both to protect the bride from the wind and sun and as a way to preserve her modesty. Later as symbol of virginity, only first-time brides traditionally wore the veil.

Wearing White—Anne of Brittany became the first officially documented bride to wear white during her 1499 marriage to Louis XII of France. Because of its impracticality, white was generally reserved for nobility. In other parts of the world, white was worn among all social classes. In ancient Egypt, brides were draped in white linen. Roman brides were wrapped in pleated white robes in tribute to Hymen, the god of fertility and marriage, who was purportedly taken with the color.

The Garter—As with most traditions, the origin of the garter varies depending on who is asked and in what part of the world they live. The most prominent tales insist that newlyweds were once expected to consummate their marriage immediately following their ceremony. Family and friends commonly entered the room to watch, taking the garter as proof. Another version states that, in 14th-century Europe, guests tore pieces of the bride’s dress for good luck until, quite often, she was sans clothing. Modesty aside, the act was downright barbaric, and savvy brides soon threw items at the guests—often drunk men—to stave them off. Thus, the throwing of the garter.

SHARING THE FIRST PIECE OF CAKE
There’s nothing better than watching a newly united couple, clad in the finest garments they’ll likely ever wear, shove sloppy pieces of cake into each other’s faces, right? Not if you wish for health and prosperity, says Sharon Cole, co-director of the Association of Bridal Consultants, San Diego Region and owner of A Dream Wedding by Sharon. “The tradition of feeding the wedding cake symbolizes a new family unit, although it also shows that the bride and groom will care for each other and nourish each other during the good times and hardships of their marriage,” she says. “Smashing the cake into your spouse’s face would mean that you do not care for their health or prosperity and that outside influences—the guests screaming for the pleasure of watching this display—will influence your marriage.”

CARRYING FLOWERS
Darn those evil spirits, floating about so menacingly. The herbs and flowers in a wedding bouquet were said to ward them off if, by chance, the rice or veil didn’t do the trick. During plague-infested periods, garlic was used as an aromatic deterrent from England to Rome to China. Flowers commonly found in bouquets symbolize purity, joy and an array of other emotions, according to Cole. The rose, for example, symbolizes pure love. The red tulip represents powerful love, while yellow indicates hopeless love. Baby’s breath represents hope of procreation and new life and the tuberose indicates dangerous pleasures. The lily of the valley signifies the return of happiness.

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Traditions from Around the Globe

Korea: On the night before the wedding, hand lanterns are used to light the way from the groom’s home to the bride’s.

Africa: Traditions vary based on region, but in some parts of Africa, the 12 symbols of life are part of the wedding ritual. These are wine, wheat, pepper, salt, bitter herbs, honey, water, a pot and spoon, a broom, a spear, a shield and a copy of the Bible or the Koran. On each of the 12 days leading up to the ceremony, the groom gives his bride one of the symbols until the set is complete.

Latin America & Philippines: A lazo (or lasso) in the form of a rosary, ribbon or cord is draped in a figure eight around the necks, shoulders or wrists of the bride and groom and remains throughout the ceremony. The loop is symbolic of the love that binds the couple each day as they share equally in the responsibility of marriage. Additionally, the groom traditionally gives the bride Arras—13 gold coins blessed by the priest. This represents Christ and his 12 apostles and is symbolic of the unquestionable trust and confidence the groom has in the bride.

China: Serving tea is a sign of respect in Chinese culture. Traditionally, newlyweds serve tea to their elders following the wedding ceremony in what is called the Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony.

Pakistan: Muslim traditions vary, but in many Islamic cultures, a dholki, named for the dhol, or drum, is held one to two weeks prior to the actual three-day wedding. Typically hosted by the bride and groom, the dholki is a venue for dancing, singing and beating on the dhol. Most engaged couples attend several dholkis in their honor. During the pre-celebration, family and friends who will take part in the wedding often practice their songs and dances.

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