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Celebration of Culture

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An Interfaith Blend

Stefanie Leshaw & Ashok Chachra
November 3, 2007

When Stefanie Leshaw and Ashok Chachra got engaged, they considered having two separate ceremonies—a traditional Jewish ceremony to honor Stefanie’s heritage and a traditional Hindu ceremony for Ashok’s. But the idea of two different weddings didn’t feel right to the couple, so they knew they had to be flexible. Their happy solution was to combine their separate traditions into a single ceremony on Saturday, and to also host a large Indian feast—for 150 friends, family members and out-of-town guests—for the rehearsal dinner Friday evening, catered by the Bombay Restaurant Group and complete with live sitar and tabla music.

With one issue settled, they still faced more tough compromises. “One of our biggest challenges was that it’s bad luck to get married in white in a Hindu wedding,” says Stefanie. Red is the color of luck in Hindu weddings. But Stefanie was uncomfortable with the thought of not wearing traditional white at her wedding.

The couple found two solutions. Everyone wore traditional Hindu wedding outfits to the rehearsal dinner, held at the Museum of Contemporary Art in La Jolla—Stefanie sporting a red and gold skirt and blouse called a lehnga. At the wedding, held outdoors at Estancia La Jolla Hotel & Spa, Stefanie accented a traditional white gown by Jenny Lee with a long, sheer, red veil. Ashok added his own splash of red: a long decorative red scarf draped over his black tuxedo. “That was our ‘halfway in-between,’” Stefani says.

In both cultures, couples marry under a canopy, called a chuppah in the Jewish tradition and a mandap in the Hindu tradition. Event designer Kathy Wright of Kathy Wright & Company created such a structure for Stefanie and Ashok with several different shades of color—using burgundies, reds, golds, plums and beautiful fall tones.

Under the canopy, a Jewish rabbi and a Hindu priest led the couple through a combination of rituals, explaining each one to the guests. Among a number of other traditions, the rabbi led the sheva berakhot, or seven blessings, on themes of joy, celebration and love; and the priest led the granthi bandhanam, in which the bride and groom were tied together—using Stefanie’s red veil and Ashok’s red scarf—to signify their union.

The couple walked seven times around a fire lit by the priest, a ritual similar to seven circles a couple walks in a Jewish ceremony. The priest led traditional vows in Sanskrit; the rabbi conducted the ring exchange; and Ashok stomped on glass to conclude the ceremony—the Jewish ritual welcoming new beginnings.

At the reception, also at Estancia, the 200 guests were offered both Indian-style curry chicken and a Western fish entrée. They danced both the traditional Jewish hora, with the couple hoisted in the air on chairs, and the upbeat Indian bhangra.

“Everyone participated in every part of it,” says Stefanie. “That’s what made it work.”

 

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