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Celebration of Culture

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Judy Nguyen grew up appreciating the two unique sides of her heritage. “It is important to me to be bicultural,” says Judy, who came to the United States from Vietnam with her parents as a baby. “I’m not totally Vietnamese, and I’m not completely American. I wanted my wedding to reflect that I am both.” Her fiancé, Hung Nguyen, also raised in America, felt the same way. Their challenge was how, exactly, to balance both cultures.

Since Judy’s family is Buddhist and Hung’s is Catholic, they had the additional challenge of respecting both religions. So they settled on a format they felt would honor all sides: a traditional Catholic ceremony in the morning; a traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony at noon; an American-style cocktail hour; and a festive all-night reception—complete with a five-course Vietnamese dinner and an American buffet.

Judy and Hung are far from alone in bringing cultural celebration to their nuptials. “San Diego certainly is a melting pot,” says Kristin Garuba, founder of Pink Papaya Creative Events, which specializes in fusion weddings. Garuba, who is part Chinese, has designed weddings for clients who are Persian, Mexican, Southeast Asian, South Asian, Filipino, Portuguese, Puerto Rican, Irish and Italian, among other backgrounds. An expert in various cultures’ traditions, she loves serving as a resource.

“Much of the job of the coordinator is to ask the right questions,” she says, such as: Are there events leading up to the ceremony? Do parents or other guests need special placement during the wedding? Will there be a special blessing at the reception?

At her own wedding nine years ago to her Sicilian husband, cultural fusion wasn’t exactly on the radar, Garuba says. She met with several coordinators who basically said, “Well, good luck with that,” she recalls. “Unfortunately at that time, they weren’t really interested in [cultural differences] and weren’t very accommodating.”

Today, it’s a much different story. Event planner Paul Bott, owner of Paul Bott and Company, says that as many as 70 percent of his clients incorporate cultural elements in their weddings. “Oftentimes, [clients] are very much in touch with their cultural and ethnic backgrounds, even if they’re second- or third-generation,” Bott says.

Planning often begins with food—“something everybody understands,” Bott says—but couples also explore the use of symbolic colors, traditional clothing, ethnic music and their own specific cultural and religious rituals.

“I encourage clients to talk with their families about the things that are special to them regarding ceremony and tradition,” says Bott. At the same time, he urges couples to do what’s right for them—“to think for themselves and listen to their hearts.”

In the end, the interplay between traditions is always exciting, Bott says. “It’s remarkable to see the fusion of cultures as they mix, and to produce an event that shines a light on all of it—because you don’t see that every day.”

Whether, like Judy and Hung, the couple holds special ceremonies in conjunction with a traditional Western ceremony and reception or the couple combines traditions creatively into one ceremony, each couple ultimately needs to create their own special event to celebrate their heritage in style.

East Meets West

Judy Nguyen & Hung Nguyen
September 22, 2007

Most Vietnamese weddings are all-day affairs, says Judy and Hung’s planner, Thomas Bui of Thomas Bui Lifestyle—and theirs was no exception. The day began at 5 a.m., with preparations for a 9 a.m. traditional ceremony for friends and family at St. Gregory the Great Catholic Church in Scripps Ranch. Judy donned her first of three outfits for the day: a Western-style custom-designed cream-colored gown she’d bought in Vietnam. A Vietnamese priest who’s close to Hung’s family officiated as a 20-person Vietnamese choir from Holy Family Church, which Hung’s family attends, sang hymns in Vietnamese.

After the church ceremony, 40 family members and close friends changed into traditional Vietnamese outfits for a Vietnamese tea ceremony at Judy’s parents’ home. Judy wore a bright fuchsia satin ao dai, the traditional garment, with gold flowers embroidered—a modern twist on the traditional Vietnamese red and gold.

The groom’s family arrived at the tea ceremony in a processional—led by the groom in a blue and gold ao dai—carrying offerings of tea, food, jewelry and money. The families paid respects to their ancestors at a family altar, an important ritual in many Asian weddings. “We had pictures of our grandparents, who’d moved on,” Judy explains. “We made offerings to them and then received blessings and well-wishes from both sides of the family.” The families exchanged gifts and jewelry, then enjoyed a lunchtime feast of whole roasted pig.

The evening cocktail hour and reception at the Westin Hotel, which mixed American and Vietnamese traditions, welcomed 275 guests—a “small” number by Vietnamese standards. Judy greeted the guests in a third outfit, which returned to Western styles—a white, sparkling, hand-beaded Lazaro evening gown. And, in a nod to the couple’s heritage, the guests’ tables each displayed a map of Vietnam highlighting a different city.

Justin Ho, owner of Que Huong Restaurant, catered a five-course traditional Vietnamese meal: a cold meat appetizer; crab egg-drop soup; fried garlic-butter lobster; fried rice and fajita-style steak; and a fried egg-noodle basket with a stir-fried seafood medley. An American buffet at the back of the ballroom offered garlic roast beef, chicken marinara, salad and mashed potatoes.

In an important Vietnamese tradition, Judy and Hung changed back into their ao dais as dinner wound down to visit each table and greet each guest.

Throughout the evening, entertainment included Latin dancers performing a cha-cha, rumba, and Argentine tango (“Vietnamese are really into ballroom dancing,” Bui says); American acrobats and a thrilling aerial ribbon performer; and a deejay playing both Vietnamese and American songs that were hand-picked by Judy.

“We really tried to get everything in there,” she says. “It was a nice balance of the two cultures, and everybody was really happy.”

 

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