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6 Tips For Great Toasts

THERE IS NO BETTER TIME than your wedding to recognize your family and loved ones for all they have done to get you to this special point in life. That’s why an increasing number of brides and grooms are saying more than just “I do” on their big day—they are making toasts at the reception as well. In fact, many wedding planners now recommend that couples consider adding thank-you toasts to the reception’s lineup. Here are six expert tips to help you make the perfect wedding toast.

Save your toasts for later in the reception

Wedding experts recommend the bride and groom wait to perform their toasts until after the last table is served, but before the cake cutting. This means you won’t have to “compete” with the best man’s toast or others that may follow—which traditionally come when everyone is first seated—and you don’t have to worry about your guests getting antsy from toast overkill, notes Rachel Burger, owner and coordinator of Bliss Events. Burger believes the best time for the bride and groom’s toasts is right before the cutting of the cake. “Sometimes, the cake cutting goes unnoticed,” she observes. “This brings people’s attention to it.”

Keep it short, sweet and simple

Anywhere between 30 seconds and three minutes is acceptable; two minutes is ideal. The bride should go first, then the groom. The main goal of your speech should be to thank the parents, families, wedding party, guests and anyone else who helped make your special day happen, says Elaine Swann, an etiquette consultant, radio and TV show host and author. This also is a great way to show your appreciation for out-of-town guests who traveled a long way to share this moment with you. And don’t forget to toast each other!

Speak from the heart

While telling a long, drawn out story isn’t necessary, it’s nice to tell an endearing anecdote about your courtship, then share your feelings about how special it is to celebrate with your guests on this day. Perhaps end with something positive you’ve learned about relationships along the way, says Swann. Some newlyweds also like to refer to another couple who has had a long marriage or great relationship they admire and see as an inspiration.

Family, personality, ceremony set the tone

If you have ultra-conservative or religious families, you’ll want to keep your words heartfelt yet straight-laced, Swann advises. If they are more outgoing, then a humorous story could work very well. Sentimental is great too, but “remember that this is a happy day, so don’t be overly serious,” Swann warns. Your personality also will help dictate the tone of your toast. Burger advises doing what comes naturally for you. A funny person would feel right at home telling a funny story. But if you’re more of a serious or sentimental person, don’t try to be a comedian; it will just feel uncomfortable, forced and unnatural. Finally, the wedding itself should be considered. The toast should suit the ceremony. “Funny probably isn’t the best choice for a very formal wedding,” Burger says.

Keep it clean

Stay away from any crude jokes, suggestive comments or ex-relationship stories, Swann says, and no old college tales of partying and carousing. In fact, skip any and all embarrassing stories. Also, don’t tell any inside jokes—it leaves the rest of your guests feeling left out. A good piece of advice from Burger: Only drink lightly before your toast. You don’t want to lose your judgment and say something you’ll regret in front of all of your family and friends.

Keep your cool

The number one rule of wedding toasts is to relax. “This shouldn’t be a stressful moment,” Burger says. “Remember, you are surrounded by the people who love you the most in the world.” Also keep in mind that practice makes perfect. As far as body language, Swann advises that you always stand up. Speak with an even and clear tone. Don’t be too loud or too soft. Annunciate your words. Continually make eye contact and look around the entire room as you speak. When you name someone specifically in your toast, look directly at them. From a practical standpoint, remember that people will be taking pictures, including your photographer. That means smile, stand next to one another and don’t hold the mike so it obscures your face.

SIDE BAR

Clink clink to these cocktails

Ivy Hotel’s Effervescence
4 ounces Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label Champagne
3/4 ounce St. Germain Elderflower Liqueur 
Combine ingredients over ice. Garnish with a twist of lemon peel.

HPNOTIQ’s Bubbles ’n’ Blue
2 ounces HPNOTIQ
2 ounces Champagne 
Pour chilled Hpnotiq and Champagne into a Champagne flute.

Chambord’s French Polynesian Mimosa
Splash of pineapple juice
1/2 part Chambord Champagne  
Add Chambord and pineapple juice to glass. Top with Champagne.

Sheraton San Diego Hotel & Marina's Something Blue
1 ounce vodka
1/4 ounce lemon juice
2 to 3 dashes triple sec
2 to 3 dashes Blue Curacao liqueur Champagne
Pour all ingredients (except Champagne) over ice cubes in a shaker and shake well. Strain into a Champagne flute. Fill flute with Champagne and serve.

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